Saddle Pulmonary Embolism

After the CT the dr. came in to tell us he had found the problem, but with his heavy accent, it was difficult for us to understand the severity. We finally deduced that it was severe by several vague words he used, ie, 'usually', 'maybe'.

We were told that I would be transported to a larger hospital for treatment. Hannah instantly requested Erlanger in Chattanooga, not knowing what a perfect choice that would be.

I told William to go get Sarah and Hayden from home; I did not want to leave for Chattanooga without talking to them after realizing that I could die. When they arrived I had the first of several difficult conversations with my children. The Lord helped me remain calm and talk with them about the reality of the situation. We hugged and then I saw William's face. He was so scared and that broke my heart.

It was decided that Hannah would go with me and William would stay with Hayden and Sarah. The ambulance arrived quickly and after a large dose of Heparin, we were off. Hannah rode up front while I dozed in the back. I was and am amazed at how the Lord helped me remain calm.

(Later Hannah said the ambulance ride was horrible; I felt so bad for her figuring she was scared and he did drive fast. Then she told me the EMT in front was playing country music, which she hates!! )

We arrived at Erlanger and went directly to a room in the ER. Well, only after seeing a guy with blood all over him being bagged. Great, more trauma for my daughter. A young dr. came in and told Hannah that my condition had a high mortality rate. More trauma.

Then, once again God intervened and the dr. that would walk with us through my whole stay walked in. She was amazing. I told her that Hannah and I were having a serious conversation about the situation and that though it was very difficult, it was necessary as we were a family of faith. She said that she could tell and proceeded to remind Hannah who was really in control. Wow! God sent a fellow believer to encourage us!!!

It broke my heart to watch Hannah stand over me and sob. She understood God's sovereignty , but this was her momma. This was personal and seemed unfair. She worried about her brother and sister loosing their mom at a young age. She worried about all I took care of for them. I told her that if it was God's plan for me to go home to glory then He had a plan for them also; that they would find a new normal eventually. Good grief, that was hard to say; I didn't want them to have to find a new normal, I wanted to stay with them!

Next: to ICU, 24 hr watch and God's peace