Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Thoughts and other Stuff

oh, fall.

happy first day of fall!


The trees are beautiful here in our mountains. Fall came with one fell swoop. It is just lovely. I am so thankful to God for the seasons.

Next week we girls leave for a mini retreat to the Smoky's. It certainly should be gorgeous there. Hannah will get many great pictures no doubt.

We are on our 3rd week of a book study. We are reading "Desiring God" by John Piper. There have been rewarding moments, then some frustrating ones. I have read the book previously, but reading it as a study with questions to answer as proved cumbersome. There are times I feel that Piper tries to complicate the Word or almost over think some things. I also realize this may be my little brain that can't comprehend his thoughts.

This year has been much better for our business than the previous two. Unfortunately the stock market was not so kind and much of our savings is gone. Of course, this is the one area that my faith is weak. I struggle between knowing I am provided for today and worrying about the next 10 years. Good grief... I have had abundance and I had little; God has always taken care of me and my family. Can't I just get that?!

The last month or so has brought much contemplation on my part and some depression. I realize the a valleys are necessary, but I do not suppose I will ever like them. I can embrace them though.

I have looked back over my life and the choices I have made. I have missed having my parents here to be apart of raising my children. I have struggled with aging and feeling the aches and pains of a body not meant to go on forever. I have attempted to justify the mistakes made and struggle to grasp that God is merciful and just at the same time.

My blessings out number any perceived deficits or wants. Just the fact that I am sitting in a dry house with clean running water, inside plumbing, and food in my pantry while typing on my computer puts in the 'very rich' category. But, that is not the real blessings. The real blessings are the people in my life and the heavenly Father, who having no obligation, chose me.

If I can just grasp that completely; rest in that daily. The God that put the universe in place, that knew me before the foundation of the world, and spoke life into being, chose ME!

Psalms 90:2 Before the mountains were born or you brought forth the earth and the world, from everlasting to everlasting you are God.

Psalms 98:8 Let the rivers clap their hands, Let the mountains sing together for joy;

Psalms 22:10 From birth I was cast upon you; from my mother's womb you have been my God.


hannah | honey & jam said...

you're the best, mom.

De Gina said...

Good words from the heart. I love the honesty.

Meggan said...

Those are beautiful pictures! It is so easy to intellectually know God will provide and another to believe and trust that He will and be content if He doesn't. I often wonder if I would still be content if God didn't provide and I ended up living on the street scavenging for food. All other idols are false and don't bring any joy or peace - will I still worship God and not the desire to be comfortable? I pray so and I commit that if it ever came to that, I would. God gives and God takes away. Blessed be His name!

Lo said...

Gorgeous sentiments -- and what a beautiful reminder of what's truly important. I do think that the valleys remind us of how gorgeous the mountain heights really are.