Thursday, January 13, 2011

Godly Wisdom

IMG_5590My girls and I talk often about life; about making good decisions, about what is really important, etc. It has become, as they have gotten older, more of an accountability thing for all 3 of us; a reminder that God is sovereign and He has a plan for each of us.

Recently Hannah told me of a discussion she and Sarah had had. They were talking about relationships and marriage and how they viewed them. She said they both believe that serial dating is not necessary and that God will send them His choice for a mate at the right time. Wow!

They both wish to avoid 'just dating' to say they are in a relationship and avoid unnecessary heartache. Both girls believe that they should be growing as individuals, learning skills, helping their family; just being productive.

Now, some would say that is seeing the world through those rose colored glasses, but I think not. If we trust the Lord with our families, jobs, finances, etc, why would we not trust Him with one of the most important decisions we will make, our life mate. If He is Lord over all, isn't He Lord over this. If He wants the best for us, doesn't it include this.

Unfortunately, so many girls seek out young men to the point of being the aggressors. Flirting, calling and texting guys, asking them out, etc. I sound backwards you say? It takes the whole thing out of God's hands and places it in our own. There is deception and manipulation by both sexes so much of the time. emotional promiscuity

In the scripture there is several types of relationships mentioned; friendship: Prov.17: 17, Prov.18: 24, Prov.27: 6 brother-sister in Christ: Heb.10: 24, 1 Jn.3: 1 marriage: Gen.2:24. Each of these three relationships have two common characteristics, a commitment to the responsibilities of that particular kind of relationship and a genuine care and concern for the other person.

There isn't another kind of relationship described in Scripture where a man and woman can share romantic intimacy with some physical intimacy without moving toward marriage? No, this kind of relationship does not exist in the Scriptures.

We must teach our children that forming non-physical relationships allows them to get to know the other person in a healthy way. It allows time for the relationship to develop along with care and concern for the other person. Above all we must teach them from a young age that physical intimacy (not just sex) is reserved only for the marriage relationship.

Modern dating or recreational dating (entirely unknown of when the scriptures were written) does not train young people to form a relationship, but a series of relationships. It also teaches them to 'harden' themselves to break-ups. One could conclude that it prepares one for divorce as much as marriage. It could produce an appetite for variety and change, ultimately creating a dissatisfaction within marriage.

As parents we must seek God as we help our children navigate the most important area of their lives, seeking God's will for a life mate. For each family, the approach may look a little different as they determine what is best for their children.

here are some issues with modern dating from an unknown source:

Dating promotes lust and moderate sexual activity, opening the door for fornication.

Dating lacks the protections and guidance afforded by parental involvement of courtship.

Dating tends to skip the "friendship" stage of a relationship.

Dating often mistakes a physical relationship for love.

Dating often isolates a couple from other vital relationships.

Dating can cause discontentment with God's gift of singleness.

Dating leads to intimacy but not necessarily to commitment.

Proverbs 12:26 The righteous should choose his friends carefully, the way of the wicked leads them astray.

Philippians 4:8 Finally brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy meditate on these things.


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